Early in our marriage, Jeremy and I were running ourselves ragged — long workdays, kids’ activities at night, trying to squeeze in fitness, and juggling all the usual family chaos. It was a lot — stressful, exhausting, and complicated by the fact that we were a newly blended family.
With four younger kids, each in multiple sports, there were no family meals together. Other than a few moments on the weekends, our weeknights were scattered in every direction.
A Turning Point
About twelve years ago, I remember our pastor saying something about families letting their children’s sports schedules dictate their home life. That hit home.
Jeremy and I talked afterward and made a decision that changed our family: no more running everywhere. We would have a family meal together every night — whether that meant two of us or all six — but always together.
We also made another big decision: each child could only play one sport. (Insert gasp here!) These days, that might sound radical — but with four kids, even one sport each kept our evenings full enough. It wasn’t a popular choice, but our family mattered more, especially as a blended one.
Gathering Around the Table 🍴
So we started having family dinners — cooking or takeout, but always gathered at the table. I added a little bonus at the end: each person shared three favorite parts of their day. It was a small thing that helped everyone talk, laugh, and connect.
And absolutely no phones 📵.
It wasn’t perfect — we missed some nights — but over time, everyone adjusted.
What We Gained
Fast forward to today — we still have a family meal almost every night. On vacation, we still eat dinner together.
Those dinners gave us the best conversations. We talked about school, work, news, faith, and everything in between. Sometimes we sat for hours after dinner, just laughing and sharing stories.
Now that our children are young adults, they remember those moments — and they’re starting the same traditions in their own homes.
Even today, with only two adult children still at home, we gather for dinner most nights. Sometimes it’s two of us, sometimes three, sometimes four — but it’s still family dinner. And every Saturday night after church, we meet our son and his wife for a meal.
The Little Things That Matter
Dinner clean-up was always lively. Since I usually cooked, Jeremy and the kids handled dishes — but I’d linger nearby because they made it fun. It was always a little party in the kitchen.
And when we started paying attention, we noticed how many families were out to eat while everyone sat on their phones. When you’re not on yours, you see it everywhere.
We still have a no-phone rule when eating out. As mom, I’m usually the one enforcing it — and I’ll keep doing it, because it matters. Once one person picks up a phone, it’s like dominoes falling.
We often joked that we should’ve started a YouTube channel for our family dinner conversations — though we probably would’ve been canceled during COVID! Still, those were some of the best talks we’ve ever had.
What Really Lasts
Yes, our children had to “sacrifice” more than one activity. But what’s more important — another game or practice, or the time we spent building family rituals they’ll carry forever?
It also sent a message: we prioritized family over extracurriculars. Biblically, it’s God first, then family — not sports, then family, then God somewhere down the list.
Does that step on toes? Yes. Does it still need to be said? Absolutely.
Because this isn’t just about our children. It’s about our children’s children.
What kind of parents do we want them to be? Guess how they’re learning? By watching us.
Scary thought, isn’t it?
Look Up
Next time you’re out at a restaurant, look around. How many parents and children are sitting together but staring at their phones? It breaks my heart. What message are we sending when a screen gets more attention than the child sitting right in front of us?
These habits don’t end with childhood — they grow into adulthood. And that’s on us as parents. We have to model what matters.
A friend once asked how we still get our adult kids to have dinner with us every week. “Why do they still hang out with you?” he asked.
Simple answer — we feed them.
From the Porch 🍃
When I look back, I’m grateful we slowed down. Those dinners became the heartbeat of our family — a place where laughter, prayer, and stories shaped who we are.
The table has seen every season: chaos, calm, tears, and joy. It’s where our children learned to listen, to laugh, to pray, and to love.
And even now — as they grow, marry, and build lives of their own — they keep coming back to that same table. Not because they have to. Because they want to.
That’s what family meals are really about.