Written in weariness; held by grace.
Last year on January 1st, I was weary.
I was at our beach house — which sounds wonderful — but it came on the heels of Thanksgiving into Christmas into a family New Year’s trip, with a full house for a full week. All blessings. All good things. And still, work. Planning, organizing, showing up. For someone who needs margin to recoup and keep the love of Jesus steady, I was heading toward the cliff.
Moms carry a lot. We do a lot. It’s all wonderful and we gladly do it — but it costs energy. Sometimes we get tired.
When I was beyond exhausted that January 1st, a dear friend suggested I write a letter to myself. To get it out. To write the way I would write to my best friend — with honesty and encouragement and love. So I did.
Below is that letter in its entirety, completely unedited. Reading it now, I’m reminded that my friend was wise beyond her years — and that God continues to walk with me.
January 1, 2025
My dear Becky,
As I write this, @ Heather’s recommendation, I want to remind you, you are loved. You are loved by me and by God, Jesus and the Holy Spirit. I know at times it’s dark and you feel so alone, isolated, separated body & spirit. It’s okay. It is a cross not easy to carry. You are so strong… you love with actions not words. You feel deeply though others only see your strengths.
This life is not for the faint, your life is not for the weak. I’ve watched you grow, gather, sow beautiful seeds in 2024. I know you will continue through 2025 and beyond Lord willing.
You are loved and seen. Your father in heaven sees you. He knows your heartache, desires, pain, joy, burden and gifts. You were chosen for this life. This role that no one else can do. Not like you.
I’ve watched you struggle through this season of Thanksgiving, Christmas holidays, and beach house full. You are on the brink and I see that. You are seen. Your father knows you. He gives good gifts to his children. For your maturity, you need refinement which is painful. But the work it produces is maturity. Only God in you – this is the magic to life itself!
When darkness comes and lingers, when the dark voices come – ask if each one is serving you well. Identify light vs darkness; life vs death. You are set apart to do great things in this world for the kingdom of heaven. Remember that. Great things for Jesus. Big & small but great things.
Darkness is as light to Jesus! He went to depths to lift you out. You are deeply loved, beautiful just as you are, a child, daughter of the King.
Becky
From the Porch 🍃
If you’re struggling today, write yourself a love letter.
You may never read it again — or you may come back to it when you need it most. Either way, speak to yourself with kindness, and anchor your words in God’s truth.
I’ll be writing another one this January 1st. Thankfully, I’m not on the brink this year — hallelujah — but I still need the encouragement. Like King David, I want to strengthen and encourage myself in the Lord my God.